The Diary of a Socially Awkward Maverick
by Passion Pit x
Summary: "I solemnly swear that I, Tabitha Doaks, will keep this diary as often as I can, and not lie about certain events to make myself feel better.   …much." Marauders era, not a lovey-dovey story as so many are these days. Rating subject to change!
1. Note to self: Work on People Skills

**Diary of a Socially Awkward Maverick **_**(Title is subject to change **__;P __**)**_

_**1: Note to self: Work on People Skills**_

**Sept 1  
****Bedroom, 9.34 AM**

So third diary this year. This one I shall not lose, and it shall not fall into enemy hands.

I'm going back to Hogwarts today. It's my seventh and final year, so I have to make it my best, because in all fairness my last six years have been disappointing and awkward.

I solemnly swear that I, Tabitha Doaks, will keep this diary as often as I can, and not lie about events to make myself feel better.

…much.

This year will be the best, I'll get a boyfriend and make loads of new friends, do well in my NEWTs, and have the best year ever.

This year is going to be a good one, I can feel it in my bra straps.

**On the train, 1.37 PM**

So I'm sitting on the train, alone, 'cos that's how I roll. I'm mysterious, a lone wolf, a dark horse…

…Nah, I jest. The few friends I have mostly dropped out this year, 'cos most of my friends are shady characters. This year I only have two good friends at Hogwarts, which isn't too bad 'cos that means I don't have to remember things like birthdays all the time.

…sigh.

But oh well. Dolly, my best girl friend, should be along soon. But she's always late because very few people realise that she's a massive idiot. I mean like she's an idiot in EPIC proportions. It's not even funny. She's forever putting shoes on the wrong foot, and that can delay a girl indefinitely.

Better go, someone is trying to get in the door of the compartment.

**2.02 PM**

I hate my life.

You may ask why I am currently hating my life. Well, you see, it wasn't Dolly (WHERE IS THAT SILLY GIRL) who was trying to open the door a while back, it was Peter Pettigrew. He's a grade A tard if you ask me, but his friends… phoar.

Apparently there's no more room in the compartments so Peter and his group of Hot Friends (yes I have to capitalise that because… just because.) are currently sitting in mine.

I hate my life.

In my mind, I'm this smooth-talking sassy gal with a devil may care attitude, but in real life I'm just pretty socially awkward.

This is what happened.

Peter sticks his head in and goes, "Hey guys, I found an empty comp- oh, hi," Like he didn't see me but he totally did.

Then all his friends bustled in and it was all very awkward 'cos we've never spoken to each other.

So then after a while my massive White Elephant in the room, namely the four boys sharing the compartment, got too big to ignore. I was painfully aware that they were staring at me from their side of the compartment, not talking about their own stuff 'cos socially awkward me was sitting there, staring at my hands.

So after a while, James Potter goes, "Tabby, right? We're you at the Quiddich world cup this summer?" to break the tension, and I stupidly go, "Nah man, I'm not really into Quiddich, ninety percent of the game is half mental most of the time,"

And then I realised that that made no sense and Sirius Black laughs at me and goes, "God, I fucking love pleasantries." which I think means, not meaning to sound paranoid, _god I fucking love listening to weirdos. _

So that was that, now they're talking by themselves and I'm writing in my diary again.

I would kill for a cheese sandwich right now.

…or just a block of cheese. Mmmmmm.

**3.24 PM**

Sirius just talked to me again! He said, "So, did you get your supplies alright this year? I hear there was a mix-up with the robes in Madam Malkins this year."

And I was like, _okay, act cool and say something witty,_ but then I couldn't think of anything smart to say so I stutter "Ah, yeah I got them okay,"

And he goes "Cool."

Is it sad to say that this may be the most exciting day of my life?

**3.43 PM**

I'm sitting here all fidgety and giddy, and it' only half because I need to pee really bad.

I was just staring out the windows and trying to remember the last time I'd spoken to the Marauders when I had a horrible flashback, of my last interaction with Remus Lupin.

When I was a third year, and I was paired up with Remus in Potions. I don't know what was wrong with me as a kid, and apart from being a useless partner, for some reason I had always thought his name was Lumpkin. So I was like "Can you pass the cauldron, Lumpkin?" "Sorry Lumpkin, can you help me slice this?" and so on and so forth, until he exploded and started yelling at me, like proper crazy. It was one of the most terrifying experiences of my life, and had, so far, been repressed.

Yep, that was the last time I'd spoken to him anyways. Oh doodie. How many more hours until we were at Hogwarts?

Sigh.

James Potter is eating a cheese sandwich… I think I hate him now. WHY OH WHY did I not bring a packed lunch?

**3.45 PM**

I think my stomach is eating itself.

…

**4.01 PM**

So the boys are acting like I'm not here, which suits me fine. I change my mind about this being an exciting day.

Why, you ask? Well, Sirius started talking to me a while back. And of course, I started talking like a weirdo, as I do, which I could see Sirius was loving. But then it started getting ridiculous, and it was obvious that he wasn't even pretending to not take the piss anymore.

He started asking me about personal stuff, like ridiculously inappropriate things, which got stifled laughs from his cronies but mortified me.

So he goes, "So, you wana find an empty compartment with me? We could have some fun of our own," with a wink and this massive doggish grin, and I snapped.

I don't know this boy, what gave him the right to mess with me? I am uncomfortable, hear me lash out.

So I go, "Seriously, Black," (saying that was only the first cringe-worthy mistake, looking back) "You think you're a shit, but you're THE shit," and before I realised what I had said, the boys were basically peeing in their pants laughing at poor little me.

Which is what I feel like doing now. Peeing, not laughing, that is.

Sirius grins, "Relax, Dokey, I'm only pulling the piss," and that reminded me that I needed to pee _again, _so I just sighed and looked out the window.

So that's why I'm sitting here, legs crossed, ignoring the boys opposite me, fighting the urge to punch Black in the throat.

I see now that I was too optimistic by far about this year.

Sigh.

**4.04 PM **

Wait did he call me Dokey?

…

**4.05 PM**

I think he did. That sounds too much like donkey for my liking.

…

**4.06 PM**

For all the years I've thought he was hot, I think in the past hour I've come to hate Sirius Black.

…

…I'm not a donkey…

**;)**

**So. Verdict? **

**Tell me what ya think, all criticism welcome! :) Oh and I'm unhappy with the title, can anyone suggest an alternative? Please and cheese. ;)**


	2. Note to self: ALWAYS LOCK THE DOOR

_**2: Note to self: ALWAYS LOCK THE DOOR.**_

**Sept 1  
****Gryffindor girls dorm, 9.46 PM**

I think I have a new, legitimate reason to be mad at the world.

For starters, Dolly missed the train so she wont be here until tomorrow. So that meant that I had to hang out with the other Gryffindor girls, who I'm not exactly _not _friends with, but not exactly friends with, you know? I mean we get on, and talk when we're together, but we're not buddy-buddy, if you know what I mean.

Also: the possible love of my life was sitting too far down the Gryffindor table for me to be able to make subtle pining glances at him, and the other possible love of my life was at the opposite end of the room at the Ravenclaw table, so I was really at a bad vantage point for stalking.

I wish I could have sat at the Ravenclaw table with my friend Christian. He's really nice, and I'm not awkward around him, and spending time with him is a great excuse for me to be around L.O.M.L (love of my life) No. 2, Alex Sparrow. He really is one of the best looking people that I have ever encountered, possibly ever. And that's saying something, because I was at Finchy Free's latest book signing, and shook his hand and everything.

But yeah I think I'm getting side tracked with ramblings about my lack-of-life.

So I was sitting awkwardly with the other Gryffindor girls, and there is no worse feeling than feeling 'outside,' but to make it worse, James and Remus and the gang were sitting like three seats to my right on the opposite side of the table, and I think they were talking about my hair.

…I'm not paranoid, I swear, I heard James say "blond bush" and "Tabby" in the same sentence, and that could only refer to my blond barnet, which I admit was looking messy at dinner…

Unless they were talking about my…

Oh oh god.

**10.05 PM**

Sorry, took a little walk to clear my head.

To the kitchen, to be exact. I need a cheese sandwich.

Don't judge me, Diary, you're an inanimate object. You can't say shit.

…those boys have some perverted nerve. I wish Dolly was here. She's so grounded, and always knows the right thing to say. And she has a huge crush on Sirius, and has had since we were pups. She'll be thrilled that one of us has talked to him. Too bad I'm going to have to tell her that the possible love of her life is a creep.

You'd actually think that the Marauders, or whatever they're calling themselves these days, would be the most popular guys in Gryffindor, but they're actually not. They may be the most fun, (or so I've heard) but people tend to get annoyed at how sleazy Sirius can be at times, or how weird Peter is. Remus and James are good friends with the other guys, I think, but prefer to stick to their little group.

The most popular guys are the Quiddich jocks, like Dan Jones (who doesn't think much of me, all because of a stupid incident in first year that I'd rather not get into) and his friend, the dry, sarcastic, witty, glorious, brilliant kisser Odysseus.

Sigh. I was with him just before the summer holidays last year, at a party. It was brilliant, we held hands afterward and kissed goodbye, and he promised to speak to me every day.

We haven't spoken since.

On a lighter note, the food tonight was de-lish. I had about eight hundred helpings, but got some weird looks from boys in the years below 'cos I eat so much for a little lady. But oh well.

I'm not a skinny girl, and wouldn't ever want to be 'cos skinny people are always so cold and sad looking. I'm just right, in my eyes. I just have some cuddle weight, but still have a waspy waist and boobs and all that. I think it suits me, in a way.

…or so I've been told, I sound like a total vain Jane right now.

Wait, is it a crime to like the way you look now? Because, Diary, don't even get me started on you, paper-thin and leathery skinned.

… I'm sorry, didn't mean that.

…

Did I just apologize to an inanimate object?

I'm going to stop talking shit and go to bed now, I might as well go to sleep early if I'm to be bright eyed and bushy tailed in the morning.

…Riiiiiiiiiiiiiight

**Sept 7  
****8.38 PM**

Sorry about not writing in a million years. I've been busy, with school and stuff. The past few days of classes have been okay, but then again it was only the first week. Teachers are still wary of me, but I don't know why, I never cause any _lasting _damage to my classmates, and the worst I get is usually just shouting out the wrong answer in class with confidence.

Slughorn is the worst though. He treats me like an imbecile because of this one time when I exploded a cauldron in 5th year…

…But come on, nobody was _seriously _hurt, and we all learned a valuable lesson that day.

…that is, Tabby shouldn't be allowed to do things by herself in general.

The Gryffindors have Potions with Ravenclaws, so luckily Slughorn had the mercy to pair me with Christian this term.

I don't know if I mentioned, but Chris is super smart. All I have to do was sit at the edge of the desk and look like I was paying attention while Chris does all the leg work.

…leg work… that sounds strange…

So… hmm… what else happened this week…

I was eating a peanut butter sandwich in Transfiguration yesterday and I thought I was being a real ninja about it, until McGonagall turns my sambo into a live rat (I think she was peanut-butter and jealous, ha ha ha), which of course scares me halfway to hell, and everyone laughed at me, and Emma Gower turned around and gave me this really evil sneer, as if to say, _ha ha ha I'm laughing at you because I'm better than you and I'm really nasty for no reason 'cos I have a hairy neck and my fingers are really long and look like alien fingers. _

I hate my life.

And to make things worse, at dinner last night some of the boys put a rat in my bag while I was practically inhaling my meal, and I had to wonder, why is everyone out to get me?

…but I think I may know why that is actually, but it's really stupid…

You see, last year I had a boyfriend who was really nice, but then there was a big bout of confusion that was in no way my fault, and before the end of it he was going out with some Hufflepuff slag.

And somehow HE came out looking like the victim, even though he had chucked me and got a new bird before we were even over.

Xenophilius was a freak anyways, good riddance… and his new girlfriend? She's away with the fairies most of the time, I give it till Christmas. Since they've both left school now I think they're off in Sweden looking for a Banana-faced Rump-monkey or something like that.

But OH WELL I'll just sit here in front of the fire and write in my diary.

I need a life.

**8.40**

Someone stole Odysseus' clothes after showing after Quiddich, so he just walked through the common room in naught but a towel.

Best. Day. Ever.

Did I mention that he has the best stomach that I have ever seen?

**9.45 PM**

AKLSJDHASJD I'm so angry

I fell asleep in front of the fire and woke up with gunk on my face.

… my first reaction was to freak the hell out and cry and stuff, (why cant people just leave me alone?) but then I saw Peter P and James laughing at me from the other side of the common room, so I said calmly (squeaked hysterically) "what's the flippin story?" and James goes, "I like your facial," and naturally that made me jump to the worst conclusion of what had happened, and my eye did that super-attractive (not) eye twitchy thing.

As it turns out, it was just flobberworm-mucus, not _that_,but the way I see it, that's not much better.

So now I'm in the prefects bathroom (Dolly's a prefect, and I don't take advantage of that fact. At all.) after a shower, drying my hair and writing in mah diary.

I'd kill for some bacon right now. My belly is making weird noises.

..

**9.58 PM**

Someone is trying to get in the door.

I think I'm going to kill myself.

..

**9.59 PM**

Did I lock the door?

..

Should I yell "occupied"?

..

I think they've gone

**10.03 PM**

Can't write properly-

have to stay silent-

Severus Snape is in here who the fudge gave him a password?

I'm hiding behind a column in the corner

This is so disturbing

It's too late to say I'm here

Oh god he's undressing-

Must

Gouge

Eyes

**11.03 PM**

I don't ever want to relive what went on in that bathroom… so I shall not even write it in here because if I ever look back and see it in future I may die.

I can never look at Snape again. Ever.

…and I don't think he's ever going to be able to look at me. Apart from evil looks.

…for the record, yes, I was found out but only because my gosh darned belly gave me away with its incessant rumbling…

But will never think of that episode of my life again, ever, not even under pain of torture.

But then again… doesn't _everything _look bad if you remember it?

…

…sometimes I wonder why I'm even allowed outside the house.

**Review if you like. I'll update some time, if you guys want ;) **


	3. Note to self: CONSTANT VIGILANCE

**Hello babas! Thank you so so much for reviewing the last chap, and if i forgot to reply it's only cos i'm super stressed bout school and junk and forgot. Nothing personal ! I heart y'all. **

**Hope you like the newest chap :)**

_**Chpt. 3: Note to self: CONSTANT VIGILANCE .**_

**Sept. 11  
6.43PM COMMON ROOM**

I'm bored so I'm going to make a list of people less popular than I am.

1. Peter Pettigrew (but only just because he has popular friends)

2. That French-Chinese-Thai girl who nobody is sure where she comes from in Ravenclaw, Jantra Thaksim-Chan.

3. That guy who peed himself at Slughorn's Christmas party last year.

_Sigh._

**Sept. 12  
11.29 AM **

QUIDDICH TRYOUTS LATER TODAY!

Very fun to watch people trying and failing to get on the team. Me and Dolly go every year, like most of the other girls in the school, to watch the Sirius Black show. He tries out every single year without fail, and makes this big extravagant affair out of doing something stupid like flying his broom upside down or trying to sneak kisses mid-air off all of the female players. It sickens, trust me.

Stupid ass…

It's safe to say that he never makes the cut.

But Odysseus is still the keeper for Gryffindor, and he is, _ahem_, very nice to look at, sitting on his broom and making spectacular saves. I don't know if I've mentioned, but he's really talented as well as very easy on the eyes…

You'd think I'd vent this to Dolly, but she thinks of him as a brother and doesn't want to hear this shizz. You see, her twin brother Bradford in Hufflepuff and Ode are best friends, and have been since nappies.

Sigh.

I really should have some more friends.

**1.59 PM**

Quiddich tryouts were… interesting.

**2.57 PM**

Just had a long, in-depth discussion/obsessed rant with Dolly about what transpired at the try-outs.

You want to know what happened? Do you? _DO YOU?_

You do? Okey dokers.

So myself and the Doll sat in the stands, along with half the female population of Hogwarts, to watch the boys. There were some evil-looking Slytherins creeping about down the other end of the stands, aka Severus Snape & Co., and he kept shooting me these looks of pure venom. It took all I had not to curl up and die right there.

…anyways.

So when the Sirius show was over, and Dolly sat watching James Potter (gorgeous, but a complete git, might I add) dictate plays and trying out new players. I was watching the Odysseus Eswing show, personally. He's so lean yet muscular, and he has such strong arms for catching the Quaffle, and the way he furrows his brow when on the pitch is just so…

…

Okay enough of me being creepy and back to the events at hand.

…

So anyways. Doll and I sat innocently, minding our own business, when we suddenly see Sirius and Lupin coming up to the stands to watch the rest of the tryouts.

And, for some reason, funnily enough, they sat next to Dolly and I.

It's safe to say that Doll started hyperventilating and I started giggling madly, but I don't think they noticed.

…who am I kidding, of course they noticed…

So anyways, Sirius just turns to me, out of the blue. "How goes it, little train girl?" Sirius smiles at me, this big, sexy, evil grin.

Honest to god, I don't think he remembers that I'm called Tabby. I don't even think he remembered calling me 'Dokey', but I'm fine with that, it's a horrible nickname. Dokey sounds like some lump of a woman, who works the night shift at the Old Smelting Place and has a couple of cats that don't really like her at all but use her for free food.

…aaanyways.

I may be a lot of things, but I am never rude. I go, "Hi, Sirius, I'm well, and you?" polite as shizz, yo.

Dolly beside me, looks like she's about to pass out with happiness. "Hullo, Sirius," she says and smiles her shy crooked smile. I say crooked because, not being mean, but her canines are slightly crooked and go inwards instead of straight.

"Hello, bub," Sirius has this habit of calling girls 'bub'. It makes me want to punch him in that waggly eyebrow.

"Hi there, Tabitha," Remus says, perfectly civil. At least he knew my name… Maybe he'd forgotten the Lumpkin incident? "It's Remus, by the way, Remus _Lupin_,"

Evidently not.

"Hi, Remus," I say and look away.

I may have mentioned this before, but I'm a smidgen socially awkward. Sometimes when I'm with people I don't know, I get easily led astray, okay? So what happened next was in no way my fault.

I turned to Ode and watched him toss the Quaffle to some third year (after making a beautiful one-handed save) who was trying out to be a Chaser, and tried to look occupied with that.

I didn't count on that Sirius only came over to cause trouble with me.

The next thing I know he's snuck my wand out of my pocket.

I don't know how he managed, that boy has sticky fingers or something… but anyways, suddenly he's cursing a group of Slytherins who came to watch the game, under his breath, with my wand.

But of course, at this point I don't know it's my wand he's using.

All I see is him cursing Severus Snape, the boy who keeps bewitching things to trip me up in the hallways, and for a split second I love him more than words describe.

In my own fudged-up world, I believed that he had noticed Snape glaring at me and was defending my honor, even though we'd only talked briefly over the past few years.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know, I always, without fail, jump to the wrong conclusion every time.

After about five seconds entertaining this lovely fantasy about him defending my honour, I finally cop he's using my 11 inch willow stick to cast those spells.

Of course, when I see this I go bananas and try to get it off him, because I've heard that he does this. He "borrows" people's wands and uses them for his own evil bidding, and then when McGonagall uses that last-spell check thing on everyone in the vicinity, his wand shows that he's been practicing a charm to water small household plants, while some unwitting fool gets accused of blasting out all of the windows on the fourth floor.

Of course she knows that it's either Sirius Black or James Potter who are always to blame, but the poor scapegoat gets thrown in it too.

I'm the fudging scapegoat.

Fudge my life.

Cutting a long story short cos I don't want to write it all down, Prof. McGonagall shows up and is like "Oh hell nah," and puts Sirius in a months detention. She then hands me my wand and puts me in detention for two weeks, for the scrabble with Sirius, and also "aiding and abetting," whatever that means.

Oh sheesh y'all, I hate my life.

I don't want to get in trouble, what if they tell my Pop? Dad'll be so disappointed, even though he's a Muggle and has little or no idea what's going on most of the time.

Stupid Sirius Black. Stupid, selfish, sexy Sirius.

Wait, strike that last one.

**Love it? Hate it? Do share ! **


	4. Note to self: GO ON MORE WALKS

**I know it's been a while! But here's an update ! **

**Sept. 14  
10 PM**

So today was extremely socially awkward, I cannot even begin to try and explain how socially awkward today was…

So I had detention with Sirius Black today, and when I say 'with' him I mean '_he's a terrible person and I don't think I like him very much, despite him being a hottie and has that stupid smile that makes smart girls dumb._'

If you know what I mean.

So.

I went to the library, as instructed, and wa made sit in the middle of the place with this massive pile of books around me, and they were dusty as fudge aswell and I kept sneezing. The job was that I was supposed to sort them into piles and he was to deliver them all over the library, all without magic, the punishment being the mind-killing boringness of trying to figure out the system in which the books were supposed to be arranged.

And when I say that he was supposed to be working with me, I really mean that he was just strolling over to random girls and hitting on them while I did all the work.

I hate my life.

And I was too socially awkward to call him on it, as well.

But that's not the worst part, I mean I'm used to being ignored.

The worst part is when the inhumanly beautiful Alex Sparrow strolled in and plonked down in the table opposite me, carrying a massive book of advanced transfigurative magic.

And of course I stared at him like a creepy kid until I realised that I was drooling.

But seriously. He has hazel eyes and hair that's just a little too long and the most symmetrical, angular face that I have ever seen. You'd have stared.

But then, _then,_ THEN!

Sirius Black goes: "Hey, Tabby D! Quit perving on Lexy and get back to your detention! I mean, Minerva wouldn't be very happy if she knew that you were sitting here undressing young Sparrow with your eyes instead of your punishment,"

Expectations: "Hey Sirius, I was just blinking the dust out of my eyes from these musty books. It happens when you actually do the work, so I suppose you wouldn't know. Also, pot, have you met kettle?"

Reality: I blink dumbly and mutter, "Um okay."

I am such a loser. And to make it worse, Alex just looks at me, and his face, although painfully gorgeous, always looks slightly confused. He gave me the Alex Sparrow patent look of stunning bewilderment . The eye contact nearly floors me. I am pathetic. Sirius just smirks and slinks off to ignore me and go hit on more girls.

I wish a hoard of firecrabs would just come and burn the stupid library down, me, the dusty books, Sirius and all.

**Sept 15  
3.04 PM**

So I don't know.

I just don't. I am very confused. Why, you ask? Well, I will tell you. So today I had free periods aplenty, like most of the Gryffindor girls who don't take Arithmancy. But when I went to find Dolly to hang out, like we do every day, she's with the other girls in our year. I don't mean to be mean but she;s always followed them around like a puppy and it just makes me so mad that she's always striving to be popular.

And I know that she'd leave me behind in a heartbeat.

I feel sad.

I think I need to make new friends. I don't think Dolly is genuine, she just wants everyone to see how cute and reliable she is but in reality she's sneaky as hell and two faced, I've heard her rant about most of the girls in our year.

And it turns out, she didn't miss the train to Hogwarts. One of the semi-popular girls in out year, Millie French, has been hanging out with Dolly over the summer and apparently they're okay friends now. And Millie's dad was driving her to Hogwarts, because he was going there on business anyways, and Dolly tagged along with her so she wouldn't have to sit with me on the train.

I feel sad.

I hate Dolly. All of her teeth are so crooked that they look like they're all running away from each other.

I hope a Hippogriff eats her.

I need to go for a walk. I feel sad. I think I may cry.

**5.42 PM**

Dolly is such a count. Count, you say? Well I think I'll give up the hardcore swearing so use your imagination with that one.

So I guess I'll start at the beginning.

I went for a walk, but before I did I took a long hard look at myself in the mirror. I'm not ugly. I'm not stupid, I'm not boring. Why am I not popular? Why don't I have more friends?

I've had boyfriends. At the Gryffindor house parties I have pulled the hottest boy in our year, he called me beautiful and I know he meant it.

Why is it that I don't fit in? I'm exactly like the others.

Except that I'm not.

Anyways, I took a detour down to the kitchens to pick up some sandwiches. I like the kitchens, the house elves are always really nice to me. I wish I could live there.

They gave me a little cloth bag of nice things and I went out to sit by the lake, in the shade of a willow tree, where I knew nobody would disturb me.

So I sat there, being sad with myself, until I heard people talking nearby.

I froze, with my bite of cucumber sandwich in my mouth.

It was a group of boys, I think mostly Ravenclaws. They were walking down to the lake and they were messing around with each other.

When I was confident that they wouldn't see me, (I mean I was sitting under a weeping willow, wearing a forest green fleece) I watched them unashamedly because Alex Sparrow was with them. He was dragging a bit behind them, and I thought he saw me, but then thought the better of it.

When the boys started messing about and joking with each other, Alexander Sparrow stood by the side of the lake and took a smooth stone from his pocket. After caressing it for a moment, he skimmed it along the mirror like surface of the lake. I counted five skips before the stone sank.

It was such a boyish thing to do and it caught me off guard. There was something in the way that he held himself that touched me, a certain loneliness that bled in his posture, making him look younger than he was.

Then he just turned and ran back to his friends, now way ahead of him on their walk around the lake.

But then something weird happened. I was reading a book that I had brought with me (okay it was a tacky romance novel with Finchy Free gracing the cover, chestnut locks blowing in the wind, shirt half ripped open, you get the picture) and I was completely enthralled, when I sensed movement.

Looking behind me, Alex Sparrow was ten feet away, and walking towards me. I nearly wet myself.

"Tabby D." he said with a slight smile on his confused face. I stared at him. "I saw you sitting here earlier."

Expectations:  "I saw you in the library yesterday, and I thought Sirius was being unnessecarily cruel. Just ignore him,that's what I do. I've always thought you were really pretty, by the way." He would then sit down beside me and take my hand.

Reality: "Finchy Free? My mother reads his books. I've always seen him as a bit of a closet-case."

So, as a conversational wizard, I go "Sirius was just being an ass yesterday,"

"What?" his confused face seemed extra confused.

"Yesterday when… nevermind."

I am awesome.

I actually hate my life.

"I always thought you were just Tabitha Doakes," he sat beside me on the ground. My heart felt like it was going to we itself in excitement. "Do you prefer Tabby D?"

Ah, so he did remember fully. He was an odd fellow. "That's just Sirius. He also once called me Dokey." I stammered. "It's just Tabby."

So after a fruitless and slightly awkward conversation, he walked me back to the castle. It was so weird. I couldn't help but think he had an ulterior motive.

I mean, he had to have.

But then, Dolly saw him with me and was suddenly my best friend again, asking all of the questions so that she could no doubt report back to the high-bitches to tell them that Alex Sparrow talked to Tabby D, wow, shock and horror.

I hate her but I told her anyways, because I wanted someone to talk to about it.

Ah, I hate my life.

But… I think I love Alexander Sparrow.

Big day for revalations?

Anyways, I'm off to detention with Sirius the count. Write laters!

**Love!**


End file.
